I think I’m so used to being ashamed of the things I like that I end up being too afraid to actually enjoy them. As much as people say “be yourself” and “don’t worry what others think of you,” I think that’s something that significantly contrasts with our culture and society. We are taught to be ashamed of certain aspects of our life but to have no shame in other places. I think it’s very natural for people to have a hard time shaking fears that they will be judged for who they are and what they like.
At this point in my life, I’m pretty comfortable in who I am. I think. I love sharks and art and the 1975 Wonder Woman TV show. I sing a lot and watch the same four movies over and over and I dance really badly. I still won't really sing around other people because I'm afraid of sounding bad and making a fool of myself. I’m not exactly sure what I'm afraid would happen if someone didn't like my singing. There's some idea in my head that people wouldn't want to be friends with me if they heard. But that really makes no sense because I really doubt that people choose their friends based on their singing abilities. Sharks I love endlessly and shamelessly and I don't think I could be embarrassed over it if I tried. Art is a personal thing for me and so to openly share my art with others makes me feel vulnerable still but I think I've gotten past the shame. I know I have a ways to go before I'm unafraid to like what I like and want what I want but god knows I'm more secure than I was in middle school so overall I’m proud of myself. And maybe people do judge me for my dancing, but I try my best not to care.
